Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
