I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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