@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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