I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize