It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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