11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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