NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
