Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
