Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
