It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
