i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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