i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
