she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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