Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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