I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
