Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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