The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize