There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
