forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
