My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
