do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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