I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
