How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
operation have a gay friend backfired
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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