U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
