you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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