he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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