Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
