He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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