OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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