Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
