i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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