He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
