He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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