she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
