New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
