Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
