Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
