she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
