she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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