Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
