If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
