ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
