No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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