So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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