Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
