she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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