Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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