I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize