I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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