This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
