this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
