he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
