He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he fucked my hip out of place.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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