if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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