is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
