either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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