Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
