the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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