he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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