Whod you bang
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
