Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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