did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Where is the hickey?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
