But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I CAN MOONWALK!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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