You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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