well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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