hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
