I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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